Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Sleep deprivation & databases - A tale of woe.

Sweet. Merciful. Christ.
I didn't know it was possible to feel like this & still manage to function (albeit in zombie mode).

My wonderful out-of-towners were in-towners for a brief period, so a night in at my friend's place turned into a 'two-hours-of-sleep-if-you-were-lucky-but-you-probably-weren't-cause-lady-be-looking-like-a-hot-mess' night coupled with a bangin' headache thanks to Grey Goose vodka, many Strongbows & some cheap bubbles.

Lift into the city was greatly appreciated. Even if it meant we were out of the house by 6am and I was at work at 7-fuggen-30.

I'm not in the correct mind space to elaborate right now, but two things I have learnt this morning are:

1) When you're this tired, you are fresh out of shits to give if there's a hair in your coffee. Seriously. Don't care. Just make me feel alive please.

2) When you're this tired, words don't look like words. Especially words relating to a CRM database which on a good day - is still the mother of all arse pain. "Define the categories using the run-time filters in the corresponding modules for the definable filters"... pretty sure that's not even English right now. GTFO, database 'report wizard', you horrible bastard.

Brain can't figure out how to sign this one off right now.

Kat xx

Monday, May 14, 2012

Whatever happened to Jewel?

"Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone, I know you love me and soon you will see, you were meant for me... and I was meant for you"

- Yeah, that Jewel. Whatever happened to her?

Remember all her thought provoking clips and emotive lyrics? Remember the album 'Spirit'? With all those beautiful songs like 'Hands'?

Yeah, they were good.

And then she came out with that song 'Intuition'... that make-me-puke kind of pop music completely void of true substance. A song that I think was trying to poke fun at the fame game (kind of) but really failed to hit the mark. I think the only benefit she would have seen from that monstrosity would have been the big fat pay cheque from shaving company Gillette when they used that song in their commercial for their 'intuition' lady razors.

Anyway since then she's completely fallen off my radar. Has she done anything lately?

The fact that she was once so wholesome and made beautiful music, then sold out and made a horrible pop album and now seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet is just upsetting.

The same goes for Nelly Furtado. First soulful & lovely single, "I'm like a bird" - then had a kid, then came the album "Loose" with the hit single being "Promiscuous Girl"... I can't help but feel her career is working in reverse. She seems to have disappeared too.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Two years

As if by some happy little mistake, the universe reminded me that today marks 2 years since I went through a pretty rough time in my life.

Looking back now, two years might as well be 20. It feels so long ago & I'm so far detached from who I was 730 days ago that it doesn't even feel like that person was me.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a greater reason. That sometimes you need to go to hell & back so that you can really appreciate a slice of heaven when it comes your way.

Whilst I'm certainly grateful for all the lessons learned, I wish I could take a photo of my life today that I could send back to that girl I was 2 years ago today. If nothing else, she needed to know that she would be OK, even though it felt like the end of the world.

It breaks my heart to remember that girl, and it's so strange to know that she was me. But on the flip side, I am proud of the personal triumphs and growth I've gone through from that time up to today. Hindsight truly is a miraculous thing and I cannot imagine I'd be half the person I am today if it hadn't have been for my past heartaches.

My life is not perfect, but for every part that is "missing" or remains to be fulfilled, there are so many other beautiful parts. Namely, the realisation of my own worth. The strength of those relationships that pulled me through and the sense of self you gain when you are forced to rebuild your life from the ground up.

Onwards & upwards x 2 years.

Having lost & having found more than you knew was possible.

I cannot think of a better reason for this smile I have whilst I complete this entry :)

Yours in love with life,
Kat xx